Does the idea of networking make you sweat? Does the word alone give you hives? I hear ya! As an introvert, I figured out a way to network in a way that makes me more comfortable.

The nightmare scenario

You see, my husband recently left his job to finish his MBA and will someday soon be on the hunt for a new job, perhaps in a new industry. During the short blip between Delta and Omicron spikes, he attended a local Chamber of Commerce networking event.

The whole idea of it sounded awful to me—the fluorescent-lit boardroom and table full of lousy wine with stale snacks, plus, of course, all those people he didn't know. He came back buzzed with excitement. "I'm good at this," he said. "And I met a lot of interesting people."

I'm always fascinated by people who walk into a room full of strangers and feel like they belong and who can move seamlessly between conversations without anxiety.

being shy vs. introverted

First, let me clear something up. Being introverted vs. extroverted is all about energy and whether or not being with people energizes you or drains you. For me, I always end up on the far end of the introvert scale. People are great…until I’m exhausted.

But…I’m also shy. Not all introverts are shy, but for now, I am.

I know I could "exposure therapy" myself out of the shyness.

But instead, I asked myself–could I get the benefits of networking from within my comfort zone?

Meeting with people in my comfort zone

When I was an editor at a magazine, I met with many fascinating people in my office or for coffee. I never felt nervous before those, and they often left me feeling as excited as my husband was after his event. The keys, I realized, were twofold:

1. We both wanted to talk to each other.

2. We met one-on-one.

How could I re-create these meetings in my post-NYC and post-office life?

networking as an introvert

A few months back, artist and author Lindsay Gardner reached out to kindly tell me she appreciated my work. I emailed right back and we set up a time to meet over Zoom. The next thing I knew, I was connecting Lindsay with some art director friends of mine, and she was sending me a piece of her artwork in the mail. (You can see it in the photo at the top of this post.

This experience reminded me of those coffee meetings I used to do as an editor and inspired me to post the following in a food industry Facebook group I belong to:

"Hi all! I have about a month before I'm going to hunker down on a couple of big projects. Since I no longer live in NYC, I don't do as many coffee dates as I used to, and I miss it!

Now that we're all used to virtual everything, I thought I'd throw something out there: Anyone want to get together for a virtual coffee date and chat about writing, cooking, life, and biz?

To make coordination easier, I put some dates and times here that work for me, and you can sign up if you want to! Or feel free to DM me if you want to get together, and none of these times work for you. 🙂"

I used Calendly to help me set the appointments, and because I do find one-on-one meetings to be a bit draining (if fun), I only offered one time slot per day, usually in the afternoon after I had done my most brain-taxing work.

I fully booked out my twenty 45-minute slots for the month within a few days.

how did it work out?

The experiment, in the end, was incredibly gratifying. I met with other cookbook authors, newer content creators, food industry business owners, and cooking teachers. We talked about our work and life and shared tips. Best of all, I think we each left the meetings feeling like we could reach out to each other in the future with questions or opportunities. And we'd refer each other to projects if they felt like the right fit.

The meetings reminded me how meaningful our relationships with other humans are. And how even when we are introverts content with spending our time tapping at our keyboards alone, it's almost always gratifying (not to mention beneficial) to meet new people, learn more about them, and share more about what we know.

Meeting with Lindsay and other creatives last year inspired me to choose CONNECT as my word of 2021.

If you're an introvert and feeling a little stagnant creatively, professionally, or whatever, I can't recommend this networking technique enough!

P.S. On a separate note, it's not too late if you haven't yet reflected on 2021 and started visioning for 2022. You can use my free mini workbook with questions to help you with the process.

P.P.S. If this is helpful to you, you can get notes like this in your very own inbox. Just sign up here.